I seriously am feeling so nostalgic right now, my chest is heavy and I feel like the most horrible person ever. I could just cry out every part hanging around inside of me and still feel like i’m full to the brim. 
Just listening to Enrique and shutup dont judge me. but it is his music and things like Abba and Duran Duran that just remind me of happier memories back in England, mostly when my family was whole and my parents were still together and we were mostly happy and there wasnt that constant tension. I just remember waking up either saturday or a sunday morning around ten and hearing the music my dad would be blasting through the speakers downstairs and i could hear the sizzling of bacon and the smell of a fully cooked breakfast and I just miss my family like that, I miss me.

I Miss a lot of things.

Also listening to Enrique’s song “Do you know” and it just brings up relevant feelings right now because I feel like everyone gets fed up of me eventually and no one who I feel for will ever return the hopes I have for us as a whole. hhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I know i’m young but I just hate feeling like someone is just waiting for everything to end, can’t someone want me enough to pretend it won’t end one day.

writing in my journal is supposed to help and make me feel like i’ve lifted a weight from my chest but really all it does is make me feel more heavy hearted and wanting to cry.